Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Climate Change: or Dad, Maybe We Shouldn’t Sell the Ranch Just Yet

Dad, I don’t know what you’ve heard about global warming, but it looks like we might be making a mistake selling the ranch. I know cattle prices are down and all, but apparently a rock ranch might have some value about now.

There was some big study done on Climate Change, and the BC government is thinking BC can grow grapes somewhere besides the Okanagan. And they’re spending money – big money – to find out where. Fifty grand, Dad, and another forty grand from the feds – all you gotta do is plant a few grapes to see which ones survive.

Those orchard guys sure picked up on this wine thing early. Did you know they’re getting a hundred thousand dollars an acre for grapes? Sure beats a couple of grand for grazing land.

Just think, no more dealing with cattle – all we’d have to handle are busloads of tourists lining up to taste our wine. Yeah, I guess the cattle prods might still have some use after all. And how’s this? We could change the barn into one of those rustic tasting room. Yup, you can charge ’em for the tasting. Those Yanks been doing it for years – never give away anything for free.

Maybe we can hire us that cute waitress from the bar to work the tasting room. No, I don’t think she needs to know anything about wine. Hey, I could be one of those wine geeks selling hundred dollar bottles of wine. Yes, Dad, people really do spend a hundred bucks on one bottle – sometimes even more.

No, I have NOT been drinking too much this morning. When it gets too hot for California to grow all those Napa Cabs, someone’s going to have to do it. And if it gets cold, we can just make ice-wine. No, it’s a tad more complicated than just adding ice cubes. You gotta let the grapes freeze right on the vine. Remember all those veggies we lost years back? Hell, no problem now. Might have a problem getting the boys off the horses and teaching them how to prune the vines – but oh well.

I checked it out, and there’s even some place in France that’s got just about as much rock as we do – Shaaa-toe-nuff de something. We can hire us one of those French guys to show us how to make wine with lots of points. You know points – up to a hundred. Nah, I haven’t a clue what the difference between 92 and 93 points would be either. But the more points you get, the more money you get – and we want to be selling our stuff for big bucks.

Yeah, Dad, it probably is a good thing they don’t give points to Scotch, and beer might still drive the price up. Anyway, let’s keep an eye on this. Hell, maybe we’ll finally be able to get rid of them snowshoes too.


Okay, we're being even more cheeky than usual, but here are a few serious Global Warming links worth checking out. (Pancho Campo from the Spanish Wine Academy has a long-standing interest in the global warming phenomenon. In fact, Pancho's thesis, which he will present to the Institute of Masters of Wine in order to become the first Spanish Master of Wine, centres around the impacts of climate change.) (The second INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON CLIMATE CHANGE & WINE will analyse what is climate change and its impact on the wine industry. Leading world experts will gather in Barcelona for two days to conduct seminars, lectures, and discussion forums on the impact and repercussions climate change is having on the wine industry in the most important wine producing regions of the world.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your wonderful, and cheeky, wine writing! I enjoy reading your tasting notes expanded into stories...
Kathleen Lisson
Albany, NY
Wine and Stories from the Vineyard Blog